happiness....

Happiness...why is it so hard to find? this is a commodity that's free and yet very few have it.

is it hard to find because human beings only see what they don't have instead of what they do have?

is it because we are never content and we always want to have more?

is it because we look for our happiness from other people instead of looking inside ourselves?

is it because we are descendants of adam and eve who were the ones who ate the forbidden fruit from the garden of eden?

why is it that when you get into a phase that you think you're already happy, everything goes wrong or hassles come up and then your back into your unhappy state again?

i've been asking myself why it's so hard for me to find happiness. if and when i compare myself to other people, i still consider myself lucky. i have a job that pays well, i do live alone but i know i still have my family even if they're gazillion miles away, i have my share of problems but they're tolerable and i have people who love me and accepts me for who i am.....so why am i not happy? its just that there are times that i feel a gaping hole inside my heart that nobody seems to fill up.

don't get me wrong....im not depressed, suicidal, pessisimistic or all of the above. i do have my moments wherein i feel so damn lucky and i feel like a million bucks.......still there are moments of unhappiness that pass thru every now and then.

i just recently watched Bruce Almighty on cable and i can definitely relate to Jim Carrey.
i have this picture in my head that God is about to strike a lightning bolt thru me just to bring me back to my senses.

maybe the void is caused by me having no time for God anymore.
maybe it's because my soul and my faith needs to be renewed.
maybe i need to do something to make me feel my worth and know what my purpose is.

there are a ton of maybe's.....

In Bruce Almighty, Jim Carrey was asked by God to do a good prayer and this is mine.....

i pray to God that he not only helps me but also others to find their happiness, hope, purpose and worth in their lives.....not only when they ask for it but at the time that they need it the most....when giving up seems to be the only option...when it feels like nobody else is there to help......and when we reach our breaking point, please be there by our side and show us the path to you....amen.